It’s no surprise to students of diet that none of the long-lived monsters eat wheat.
Vampires, of course, live for centuries, and their diet resembles the traditional diet of the Masai. Both groups, indeed, are known for their teeth; like vampires, the Masai rarely get cavities.
There are, to be sure, some monsters with a predilection for sweets. They tend to be short, often barely three feet tall; and their lifespan seems to be short. Often, a sweet-toothed monster is never seen again after a single night spent gorging on sweets.
In searching the web for information on monster diets, I came across this song, which I take to be a celebration of monsters’ favorite way of preparing “safe starches.” Enjoy!
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